Windy Kelley Next-Step Mini lessons

Windy Kelley
Next Steps-Lesson
Being Intentional:
Formal verses Informal Writing
Intended for 4th/5th Grade

Standard: Voice and Tone
W5:7 In response to literary or informational text, students engage
readers by…
• Using appropriate voice and tone (word choice, sentences with
embedded phrases and clauses)


Student Error Pattern: Some students are using informal language in their writing when they are producing a piece that lends itself toward a more formal voice, such as a report. The opposite is also be true, when they are writing an informal (more conversational piece) and students are using formal language. There are also students who inadvertently use both informal and formal language in their writing without being intentional about it.

Identified Learning Intention/Purpose: Because some students do not understand the difference between formal and informal language in their writing (some may refer to this type of writing as conversational vs. academic writing), it is important to directly teach the difference. The real problem is that students need to be intentional about their writing. This is not to say that certain writing genres have a certain "correct, specific, language" and should be limited to formal vs. informal, but that each piece of writing should have an intentional tone and voice given by its author. For instance, all report writing does not have to have the "formal or academic" tone and narrative writing does not always have to have an "informal or conversational" tone. It is up to the writer to decide intentionally what tone the piece should portray. Therefore, it is extremely important that the writer is aware of the audience he/she is writing for and what kind of mood he/she wants to try to instill in a reader. Over the past few years of teaching 4th and 5th grade students, I have witnessed students who struggle with voice and tone a great deal. I understand that it is hard to directly teach voice and tone, but with lots of practice reading and modeling various authors' craft of word choice, I believe we can come closer to enabling our students to finding voices of their own in an intentional way.


Number of Students in the group: This could in fact be a whole group lesson of 22 students but it could also be a small group of 6 students.

Time Frame: Half hour to 45 minute lessons. Will need at least 10 class sessions. Could be done over a two-week time span daily.

Formative Assessment: Three times over the span of 10 lessons. These formative assessments are embedded in lessons 6, 7, and 10.


This is the Lessons at a glance Section (The detailed lessons follow)


Concept: Use picture books as models to show/teach different kinds (genre's) of writing. Fiction books/Non-fiction books. Formal vs. Informal Writing.

Explicit teaching:
1. First book (Fiction Book) (First Read) Read the picture book just to get the overall idea or concept of the story.

2. (Second Read) Pick out specific words and phrases (the language that the author uses) to convey his/her message. This would get at noticing the type of language that is being used. Use Public notes to record the language.
3. Using these words/phrases/language how does this make you feel? What feelings is the author trying to convey? Feelings of friendliness, humor, serious, an expert opinion, sad, happy).
4. Second Book (Non-fiction Book) (First Read) Read the picture book just to get the overall idea or concept of the story.

5. (Second Read) Pick out specific words and phrases (the language that the author uses) to convey his/her message. This would get at noticing the type of language that is being used. Use Public notes to record the language.
6. Using the public notes Compare and Contrast. The focus should really be on the contrast, what is different about these two public notes/language charts? If students don't "get it" guide them to understanding that there is personal language (I, You, we) informal language verses more factual/statement oriented language (not using pronouns) formal language.
7. Students write mini paragraphs based on a prompt around a certain topic, write a paragraph using informal language and one that uses formal language. Mix up these paragraphs, One person reads his/her piece while the partner identifies whether it is the informal or formal written piece. After all pairs share, take all the pieces and have the students sort them into piles of informal and formal pieces.
Students discuss reasons why they chose what they chose.

8. Show students models of different genres of writing using both formal and informal language pieces (Perhaps use an elmo to show this writing). Students will identify formal vs. informal or a mix between the two and give reasons for the author's purpose. Students should also identify the author's tone in the writing.
Genres may include any of the following:
Narrative
Report
Persuasive Writing
Personal Essay
Reflective Essay
Procedure
Response to Text
Poetry

9. Students will write their own paragraphs using a genre of choice. They will intentionally choose a formal, informal, or mixture of the two in order to give voice and tone to their written piece.


Extension activities based on formative assessments: If students still need more instruction based on the formative assessments, they could do skits using formal vs. informal language. This would lend itself to the oral work which is necessary for student learning.
Use the "Arthur books" as guides. Each character in the books have their own special "type of language." The teacher can read the book aloud giving a different tone to each character. As the book goes on, the students can try to figure out which character is speaking based on the words they he/she uses.

Once students are familiar with the characters in the story, the students can write their own scene using the "type of language," that each character uses. Then students can perform their scenes for the class in a "Readers theatre" type setting. Students will then gain more practice with formal vs. informal language.


Detailed Lesson Plans

Lesson 1

Olivia forms a band
by Ian Falconer

First read the book aloud in its entirety:

After reading the book the first time, ask these questions:

Who do you think Ian Falconer had in mind for his audience when writing this book? (Possible answers: Young children ages 0-8?) Why do you think this?

What is the overall tone of this book? Is it happy, sad, funny, or angry? What makes you say that?

Perhaps write student’s answers on a public chart so you can go back and refer to this later.


Lesson 2

Read the book a second time:

As you read the book, tell the students that you are going to be looking for specific words and phrases that the author uses in his writing to share his story. The words that you will be recording are words that are “informal or conversational” in nature. They are words that you might use in your everyday speech/language.

Words/Phrases for the Public Notes:

The words in bold are meant to identify specific words that tend to be more in informal or conversational writing. Highlight these words when teaching the lesson. You may even want to make a separate list of these words, as these might aide students when they are comparing and contrasting informal verses formal language.

“I can’t find my other red sock,” said Olivia

“I want everyone to be ready by seven for the fireworks,” mom said.

“Oh, I don’t think there will be a band,” said her mother.

“We’ll be the band!”

“Fine, I’ll be the band.”

“What kind of band are you thinking of?”

“But, sweetheart…”

“This morning you told me I sounded like five people!”

“Look, Daddy, we’re twins.”

Finally she was finished.

“Olivia, aren’t you going to bring your band?”

“I have to put on my make-up.”

“Wipe that glop off your face…”

“Aren’t you going to come kiss me good night?”



Lesson 3

Wild Wild World Crocodilians
By Tanya Lee Stone

First read the book aloud in its entirety:

After reading the book the first time, ask these questions:

Who do you think Tanya Stone had in mind for her audience when writing this book? (Possible answers: Young children ages 5-12?) Why do you think this?

What is the overall tone of this book? Is it happy, sad, funny, angry, serious, or informative? What makes you say that?

Perhaps write student’s answers on a public chart so you can go back and refer to this later.




Lesson 4

Read the book a second time:

As you read the book, tell the students that you are going to be looking for specific words and phrases that the author uses in her writing to share her story. The words that you will be recording are words that are “formal or academic” in nature. They are words that may not be used in everyday conversational speech/language.

Words/Phrases for the Public Notes:

The words in bold are meant to identify specific words that tend to be more formal or academic in nature. Highlight these words when teaching the lesson. You may even want to make a separate list of these words, as these might aide students when they are comparing and contrasting formal verses informal language.


Crocodiles, alligators, and caimans belong to a group of reptiles called crocodilians.

Their ancestors have been on earth for 240 million years.

These reptiles lived alongside the dinosaurs!

Crocodilians live in warm rivers…

Some also spend time in saltwater.

There are many different kinds of crocodilians.

But they share most things in common.

They are intelligent animals…

These huge reptiles are most at home…

Then the reptile quickly springs into action…

Moves them through the water.

Unlike fish, crocodilians do not have gills.

They have thick, soft, smooth skin on their belly.

Crocodiles, alligators, and caimans have long heavy tails and strong legs.

Because their eyes and nostrils ar placed on top of their flat head,

Like all reptiles, crocodilians are cold-blooded.

When a baby is read to hatch, it makes grunting and squeaking noises.

In addition to being hunted, crocodilians have lost much of their habitat to building projects and farming.

Lesson 5

With the class, go back and look at both the fiction book (Olivia) and nonfiction book (Crocodilains) public notes. With the students compare and contrast the language that is being used.


Things to point out (Fiction book)

Use of pronouns (me, I, you, she, your,)
Language that is slang (Aren’t, glop)
“Kid like” language (Daddy, sweetheart, Fine, I’ll be the band.)
Dialogue within the text (“I can’t find my other red sock,” said Oliva
“I want everyone to be ready by seven for the fireworks,” mom said.
Use of transitions (Finally, But, and Oh, I don’t think…)



Things to point out (Non-fiction book)

Use of pronouns (them, their, they, it)
Transition words and phrases ( Because, Some, Like all reptiles)
Use of naming the animal directly instead of using pronouns all the time. (Crocodiles, alligators, caimans, reptiles)
A lot of the writing is declarative or exclamative (in the form of statements or exclamations). (To warm up, crocs bask in the sun or lie in warm, shallow water. Even more amazing, some kinds of crocodiles can run really fast!)

The focus of this lesson should be on the contrast, what is different about these two public notes/language charts? If students don't "get it" or see the difference, guide them to understanding that there is personal language (I, You, we) verses more factual/statement oriented language (they, reptiles, crocodilians).


When doing this Compare/Contrast students should also notice that depending on the language that is being used, there is a difference in tone of the piece of writing. This is where you can bring up the idea of informal (conversational) verses formal (academic) writing. See if the students can figure out which book lends itself to the more formal language and which one is more informal. You may want to share that this is the “author’s voice.” Voice in writing is hard to teach, so students need to be exposed to reading and hearing a lot of language. In Laura Robb’s book, Nonfiction Writing From the Inside Out, she states that “Voice has everything to do with how a writer presents himself on paper-how we hear the writer’s unique diction and way of using syntax and words as we read because the writer is present, leading us through and enticing us into the text.” (page 102) She also states that the author, Lois Lowry defines voice as having to do with “a combination of language usage, cadence, flow, rhythm, and a particular combination of these that a writer uses in a unique way.”


Then, ask the students; by using these specific words and phrases, how does this make you feel? What are the different feelings/moods that the authors are trying to convey? Are there feelings of friendliness, humor, seriousness, an expert opinion, sadness, or happiness? Refer back to the notes of the first read through of the books and see what tone/mood they felt the first time they heard the story.

Lesson 6

Identifying paragraphs formal vs. informal

Copy these paragraphs five times in order to make five sets, cut each set out, mix them up within the set, and pass each group a set. The group should try to figure out the formal vs the informal paragraphs and place them into two separate piles.

After each group is done, discuss with the whole group what they did and share the correct results. Make sure that the students give specific reasons for their decisions.

This activity should be a formative assessment to see if the students can identify formal vs. informal writing.

These paragraphs are taken from Roald Dahl’s, Danny the Champion of the World, Jim Murphy’s, The Great Fire, Liza Jacob’s, Wild Wild World Fiddler Crabs, Russell Freedman’s, Cowboys of the Wild West, Jacqueline Woodson’s, The Other Side, Jeff Brumbeau and Gail de Marcken’s, The Quiltmakers Gift , and Louella Bryant’s, The Black Bonnet)

Paragraph 1: Sullivan didn’t hesitate a second. “FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!” he shouted as loudly as he could. Running clumsily across the dirt street, Sullivan made his way directly to the barn.

Paragraph 2: A shed attached to the barn was already engulfed by flames. It contained two tons of coal for the winter and a large supply of kindling wood.

Paragraph 3: We ran to the road. We ran along the road. We kept running. “She’s coming down!” my father shouted. “The flame’s nearly gone out!”

Paragraph 4: Male fiddler crabs use their big claw to communicate. They wave it to get the attention of other crabs.

Paragraph 5: Someplace in the middle of the summer, the rain stopped. When I walked outside, the grass was damp and the sun was already high up in the sky. And I stood there with my hands up in the air. I felt brave that day. I felt free.

Paragraph 6: Rifles and shotguns were used most commonly for hunting game. A six-shooter was useful for killing rattlesnakes, putting a crippled horse or cow out of its misery, or turning aside a stampede when fired just past the leader’s heads.

Paragraph 7: Many people climbed her mountain, pockets bursting with gold, hoping to buy one of the wonderful quilts. But the woman would not sell them. “I give my quilts to those who are poor or homeless,” she told all who knocked on her door. “They are not for the rich.”

Paragraph 8: We lived in an old gypsy caravan behind a filling station. My father owned the filling station and the caravan and a small meadow behind, but that was about all he owned in the world.

Paragraph 9: I was now a scruffy little boy as you can see, with grease and oil all over me, but that was because I spent all day in the workshop helping my father with the automobiles.

Paragraph 10: Chicago is blackened and burned, and several ships on Lake Michigan are in flames. The fire would continue to burn until it reached Fullerton Avenue.

Paragraph 11: “You mean you actually drove here in the Baby Austin?”
“Yes.”
“Your crazy,” he said. “You’re absolutely plumb crazy. You could have got killed. If anything had hit you in that little thing, you’d have been smashed to smithereens.”

Paragraph 12: Once, when we were jumping rope, she asked if she could play. And my friend Sandra said no without even asking the rest of us.

Paragraph 13. If a female is interested, she comes near a male’s burrow. The male continue to wave his claw and runs back and forth between the female and his burrow, encouraging her to enter.

Paragraph 14: On a ranch, as on the trail, a cowboy’s day started early. Climbing out of his bunk by the light of a smoky coal oil lamp, the first man up would stoke the fire to take the chill off the morning air.

Paragraph 15: Now the king completely forgot about feeling sorry and became angry all over again. He ordered the royal island-makers to build an island barely big enough for the woman to stand on her tiptoes.

Paragraph 16: Bea was awake by then and asked what was going on. “Your little sister just about gave us all away, looking out that window,” said Sunday. She was practically raving now. “You see this hand?” She held up the hand with four fingers. “You know what happened to this finger? I’ll tell you. I took a piece of suet from the smokehouse to flavor the soup for my children. But I’m lucky. It could have been my whole hand. You think about that, child.”


Lesson 7

Students write their own formal vs. informal paragraphs.

Give the students a writing prompt such as: The broken car sat along the side of the road… Have the students take 10-15 minutes to write a formal paragraph regarding this prompt.

Give the students another 10-15 minutes to use the same prompt to write an informal piece of writing.

Students should then read their paragraphs aloud to their partner and the partner should be able to pick out which is the formal and which is the informal piece of writing.

This piece of writing can also be a formative assessment that the teacher uses to see if the students are able to understand the difference between formal and informal writing.

An example of the above prompt may be something like this?

Formal Paragraph:

The Silver, Dodge, Caravan sat helpless along the side of the road. There were no humans in sight, and yet the rusted, beaten up, heap of junk, was bellowing black smoke from the hot engine. Night will be descending and one wonders if this 2000 pound gloomy vessel will attract a friend. Perhaps an owl will come to perch, or perhaps not.

Informal Paragraph:

“Boo, hoo, hoo,” cried the old beaten up caravan. “I can’t believe that my owners just left me here to die. What am I going to do? With any luck some nice young couple may come along and help me figure out what happened. All of a sudden I started spewing green yucky stuff from my mouth. Then I started putt, putt, putting and stopped. It is so hot out here in this 90 degree weather, perhaps it will cool down when the sun sets. I really hope someone comes along soon to help me. Hey, little birdy come sit with me for a while and keep me company.”


Lesson 8

Once students have shared their pieces with their partners, collect all the student writing samples. Mix them up and begin reading some of them to the class as a whole. As you read each piece, have the students decide which paragraphs are formal and which are informal writing pieces. Make sure that students specifically explain why they chose the category for that paragraph. This way, students will hear a variety of paragraphs based on formal and informal language and therefore gain more practice with this identification skill. Students should also try to identify the tone that the author portrayed.


The one thing to stress about writing is that the writer has to be intentional about his/her work. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary that the writer has an audience in mind, and a purpose for his/her writing. No matter what genre of writing the author chooses, he/she will need to be intentional in his/her language use.

At this point it might behoove the teacher to share samples of a variety of genres of writing so that students can see that informal writing and formal writing can happen across genres. It is imperative however, that when students pick a genre to write, they are, in fact, intentionally choosing to write in a certain way.

Samples of writing can come from the Vermont State writing benchmarks, Barry Lane’s book, 51 Wacky We-search Reports, Laura Robb’s book, Nonfiction Writing From the Inside Out, (pages 103, 156, 158, 159 The samples in this book combines the informal and formal writing technique) (Page 160 has an excerpt using the formal writing in an informative paragraph) (Page 182 is an informal personal essay “From Blood, Tears, and Joy written by a 6th grade student named Sally) (Page 188, informal writing about bathrooms) (Page 246 Excerpt from Rachel’s Journal: The Story of a Pioneer girl by Marissa Moss) and a Scholastic Teaching Resource book called Teaching Powerful Writing, by Bob Sizoo.


Excerpt from Barry Lane’s 51 Wacky We-search Reports book. (Genre: Non-fiction report. This combines the formal and informal language)

The Rock Fashion Show

And now, direct from northern Italy and central Vermont, we have Marble. Sporting a calcite and dolomite crystal ensemble designed by Metamorphosis, the famous Greek designer, this marble carries a sleek limestone finish. Its stylish snow white color can fool you at first, because if you look closely, across the shoulders, you’ll glimpse tints of red, yellow, pink, and green caused by impurities in the stone that actually add to its chick beauty. Marble is often used to create statues and the columns of classical building. So don’t expect her to hang out in your neighborhood unless you’re friends with the gods. Thank you, Marble.


Excerpt from The Moved-Outers by Florence Crannell Means (Genre: Narrative. This one seems like more formal language because it uses third person pronouns)

Afterward, the weekend seemed enchanted. If it held any dull moments, they were lost in the shine of its happiness. Yet this Friday afternoon was no different from countless others in Sue Ohara’s eighteen years. She and Emily Andrews walked home from high school just as they had walked home from kindergarten: together. The same California sun shone warm on their tanned faces and bare knees, the same soft breeze played with the hair that hung at their shoulders, Emily’s red hair cut and curled under to match Sue’s black.

Not till afterward did Sue dream how good it was simply to walk home with her best friend in the sunshine. Now she took it for granted. And one of the things you learn when you grow up, she told herself later, is never to take happiness for granted.

Excerpt from On The Far Side Of The Mountain by Jean Craighead George (page 72) (Genre: Narrative. Informal Writing)

Zella comes in through the back door.
“Did I hear you say Alice ran away?”
“Good morning, Zella,” I say. “She sure did. She left me a note saying she was leaving, but she didn’t say where she was going or how long she’d be staying.”
Zella looks nice this morning in a dark blue jacket and skirt. I guess she’s going to work. Her black hair is pulled back from her face with silver combs. Dark-rimmed glasses over her long-lashed eyes make her look very professional and also pretty.
“So, at last she’s done it,” Zella says with a whimsical smile.

Lessons 9+10

Writer’s write with good intention.

Have the students choose a particular genre and topic of choice to write about. Before they begin writing, students need to write a small paragraph explaining whether they are going to write formally, informally, or a combination of both. They need to give a specific reason for making their choice so as to make clear his/her intention. Students should also include the intended tone that he/she is trying to portray.

Students should then have one to two class periods to write their piece. These pieces can then be shared with the group at a later time so as to continue hearing, reading and practicing this skill. Students will read each other’s pieces and determine the voice and tone that they understand the piece to portray. For students who have difficulty coming up with a genre or topic to write about, it is fine for the teacher to give ideas, for it is the writing itself that will be evaluated, not the idea itself.